In my bedroom, I have this canvas with these words on them:
This too Shall Pass. I know a lot of
people use this in a way to say that trials will be overcome but also, less
often, it can be used to mean that moments or precious experiences will not
last forever. I have used it both ways
for sure. That is why at the bottom of
the canvas I made sure I had the words: be present. Making sure that you enjoy life today instead
of waiting for something else to come along.
Be happy now.
I thought about it as we struggled to have children. I thought about it when Richard and I went on
spontaneous trips to get ice cream. I
thought about it as I laid down for a Sunday nap. I thought about it as I sat in my quiet
house, reading a book or making a craft or using my time however I wanted to.
I thought about it as I sat in the waiting room of the
Doctor’s office, waiting to have an ultrasound where I would hear the first
heartbeat, even though it was my fourth pregnancy. I thought about it as I felt a little baby
wiggling inside my belly. I thought about it as I massaged the big knots that
formed from where I had my progesterone injections every week. I thought about it as I slept in on Saturday
morning, with Richard next to me, just a week before my due date.
I thought about it as I was having strong contractions for
three days before my water finally broke.
I looked at that canvas as I saw my baby’s umbilical cord fall off and I
wanted to start crying because it meant that she was getting bigger
already. I look at it in the middle of
the night, when I am trying to keep Lucy, and myself, awake as she nurses. And as I rock her back to sleep and she
stares up at me before drifting off to sleep, and I sing to her about Heavenly
Father answering prayers. Because He
does, and I want to make sure she knows that she is one of those answers.
August: 
